I started something new where people sms me funny stuff and I pick 5 that make me laugh the most, so here they are:

5) "Good moms let you lick the beaters... Great moms turn them off first"
4) "Why did the chicken cross the road?...to get to the gay man's house. Knock knock...(who's there), it's the chicken"
3) "I used to be jealous of skinny girls until I realized they've probably never tasted bacon"
2) "You offer someone a  sincere complement on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore."
1) "I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger, and then it hit me."

Hope you enjoyed.